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I have a Twitter account for my personal group called @MetalSun

This Position Has Been Filled

Lets just say that very many people have aspired to the role of King of all Kings in order to save Humanity from itself. Many people desire to see the world saved. They may believe that their immortal soul has already been saved, which has granted many a great sense of peace, but they also want to see Peace on Planet Earth. Something which is expected and prayed over by millions but as yet unseen in our world, and nobody knows exactly how it will come to us. Many believe that Jesus himself will return to the Earth and establish this Peace; however I think this is a job for the Father and not the Son.

Jesus never applied any power or personal desire to govern the world during his mortal life. He gave birth to a movement which eventually undermined the authority of the Roman Empire. An empire which occupied Israel at the time that Jesus was alive, and was unwelcome by the people of Israel. I think that many of his followers may have expected him to lead a revolt to overthrow the Roman governors, but this is not what Jesus did. Perhaps this is essentially the goal which he wished to achieved; a goal that he realized would not be achieved in his own lifetime.

Jesus carried out his plan with perfect execution and achieved the desired results. Whether we believe that his life work was dedicated to our salvation or political to address a real world issue is a matter for others to debate. We could just say that he did achieve both these goals and leave it at that; it's really impossible for us to guess his exact intentions without being able to speak with him about it.

In a manner of speaking, I made the original discovery accidentally and then developed it into what it is today. And that's how it happens to be myself that got the job and the responsibility, I did all of the mental work myself without help. I very simply applied my own best judgement to solving the problem. Whether or not I was divinely inspired, I would answer yes of course I was inspired. I took my inspiration from many different sources, and I have prayed about it as well. But I never once, on any occasion, heard a voice in my head telling me what to believe or what I should do. There was nobody who could explain these things to me which I now explain to my readers.

Now I want everyone to know that I have been tested in the past, and the results have always been that my Intelligence is only slightly above average. I certainly do not have genius level IQ. On aptitude tests that I took in high-school, I scored in the highest percentiles. Now that I'm 51 years old, I think I'm making even more spelling errors and typos than I have in the past. Due to complications in my life, I have never been able to earn a college diploma, but I have attended a good number of college classes. So I do have the benefit of some higher-education. Other than the formal education I just pay attention to the things i'm interested in learning about. Games have always been a very important part of my personal development, and I would say that I have learned a great deal about games and how people play them. I've never been the most skilled at any of the games that I've played, there have always been many people who exceeded my personal achievements in the games that I've played. Also, I don't usually play PC games against human opponents.

I would say that I've made some plans about how I should proceed with the rest of my mortal life, my plans probably exceed my abilities and are not entirely realistic. I'll just take it as it comes. I enjoy a good conversation but rarely have the opportunity to talk with other people about many of my ideas. Since I'm working on the blog, I was hoping that I would get some comments from people that I could reply to. Sadly, I have only had comments from one person. I'm sure that I've had few readers visit the page, and I've done very little to promote myself to the general pubic. I'm not really interested in fame, and I really don't need to get recognition for the work that I've already done. It's here and freely available to anyone that wishes to take a look. If I could somehow manage to be the answer to all those prayers for peace, it would make me very happy. I'm sure there is a good number of people that have been saying that our world is about to change; but will I be the one directing those changes? We can only wait and see what happens next.

Consuming The Beast

The multiheaded and horned beast of John's vision might be perceived as humanity on the whole. The image is built up from a multitude of parts, those parts being pages in the Human experience. The horns are supposed to be Kings which have lead the people, instead of thinking of horns as historical persons, think of them as ideals which humanity has pursued. I do not know how to describe these ten principles in order to define what exactly they represent. The imagery used in the book of revelations likely pertains to the world as it was at the time it was written, and not to our world as it is today. The author of this book may have expected the events which he describes symbolically to occur in his near future. A great angel more or less says in this book that the fulfillment of God's plan for the Children of Humanity should not be delayed. However in modern times most perceive that God's plan for us is not fulfilled yet. The assumption is easily made that some of the symbolism of events which should occur, will occur in our future. We do know for a fact that the living Jesus has not returned to Planet Earth in order to organize and govern the world.

I have ventured to describe a personality within the Universe which would be the Creator and guiding intelligence behind the Universe from it's very beginning. I have said repeatedly that I do not see this person as being the same thing as the Most-High-God, but it must in some way depend upon God's activity. All conscious and self-aware person's must be dependent on God and his constant activity within the Universe. I think there is symbology in the Book of Revelations that refers to this personality, this person is named the Ancient Dragon within the text.

Now I do appreciate the fact that many Christian thinkers assume that Jesus himself is the Creator. I do not see Jesus as being a God as they do, he was conceived as a perfectly ordinary human being. Whether or not he was actually conceived by virgin birth is a matter that we can not really be sure about. Similar claims of virgin birth have been made about other historical persons I believe. If the Gospel authors that describe this event are assuming that Jesus was indeed a God because they knew he claimed to be a Son of God, they may have had a desire to assure us that Jesus was special and pre-ordained to be the teacher he eventually became, from his very conception. Thus they may have embellished upon the truth and created fiction. In any event we do not know whether the author himself created the story, or that he had been told this story by someone else.

I see Jesus as a man who made a personal choice to fulfill a job which he saw as being necessary, by making such a choice and a durable commitment, at that moment he became a King in Heaven. Now a King is something other than a prophet, he may or may not be recognized as a King by all people but he still governs a Kingdom. The true King has taken responsibility for the Children of Humanity and their needs. Therefor he was a man that follows no authority higher than his own, he applied his own very human judgement to solving a particular problem, and then proceeded to do the things that he did. Now people who follow the teachings of Jesus may choose to have that man as their King, by making this choice they now will recognize his judgement as being a higher authority than their own judgement. So they become citizens within his Kingdom and will forego having a Kingdom in Heaven of their own. Having this point-of-view makes the life and work of Jesus far more amazing I think, than thinking he was chosen for his purpose in the Heavens and then sent to Earth as a divinity from the very beginning. A God can not fail to achieve, but a Human Being can fail to achieve a goal.

I believe that the gospel stories also record that Jesus did in fact recognize an authority higher than himself; a personality which he refers to as our Heavenly Father. Now many Christian thinkers that believe in a trinity of Gods, would point out that the Father and the Son are equals. Jesus himself says he always follows the will of the Father. There must be a personality and higher-authority that could affect changes to our physical reality via a technology which humanity does not possess in order to support the efforts that Jesus made in the world. This would be the source and the power behind all of the miraculous things which Jesus was seen to perform. A Human Being can never exercise or control a power over reality such as this due to our natural limitations. So I would say that Jesus had in some way won a powerful supporter within the Universe. Jesus claimed that it was Faith which made such things possible.

My own Kingdom in Heaven began as a very small thing. It is defined as my physical self, this material substance is my own personal property within the Universe. The volume of space which is being occupied by my Kingdom is many orders of magnitude less significant than the volume of space in the Whole Universe, but is still more than nothing and therefore is significant as being a part of the greater whole. Within this territory my own authority and will is supreme, but authority may extend beyond physical space into purely mental realms of knowledge. In my Kingdom, I am the King, and the King is the only citizen of this Kingdom. There is no other Human Being in the World which owes their allegiance to me, or would see my judgement as a higher authority in the Universe. I exercise some rights, similar to the rights which every human being does exercise over personal material property. I can not fully enforce my own rights with respect to property against the will of other Human Beings who may forcefully take my property, or injure my body in some way. Still I do have a will directing my activity within the Universe which functions independently.

Metaphorically it's my desire to consume the great beast of legend and make it part of myself. I view this symbolic beast as the whole Human experience. By doing so I would obtain the memories of every human being that has ever lived, then I would know exactly what their experience of the Universe was like. I would know all of their joys and sorrows, I would know all of their suffering and I would know all of their accomplishments. This is exactly equal to a full and complete knowledge of Human History, which can never be defined by words alone. And the Human Experience is exactly equal to the great and buried treasure from the parable of Jesus as recorded by the gospel authors. It is something which must be earned or won, I do not have a natural right to posses this treasure by virtue of my birth as one Human Being. But Jesus said, this is how the Kingdom of Heaven will work. So where exactly do you think this treasure is being stored at the moment? I must somehow find a way to lay claim to that property, or a way to purchase it from the Landlord. But who is it that has the property right now? I would need to be able to determine that, before I would be able to deal with that person. Also I need to know what that person needs that I can supply as payment for the property. In mortal form and with biological limitations, I do not believe that the goal is achievable. This is something that I must achieve later, when I can grow into the capacity to hold that knowledge.

By succeeding in this endeavor I should be transformed into a new kind of person, a kind of person which has never existed before. I would sacrifice my own soul in order to win the world. I would become the Ancient of Days himself, the person who knows the experience of all of Humanities days. Now we must wonder if this is truly something that a mortal man can aspire to. I say it must be so because Jesus told me that this how Heaven works. This is the wonder of God's plan for the Children of Humanity. The agencies of Heaven very simply demand that there must be one person that can represent the interests of all the people for every species of intelligence that lives within the domain of this Universe. This is the way things work.
We are being given a new birth, and if we fail to take hold of this opportunity its possible that our species must be destroyed, it would be found undeserving. I think that I can assure you, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the threat of Human extinction on Planet Earth is very real, may come in an unexpected way, and come sooner than you think possible.

My Revelation to Readers

A very attractive fantasy can be a powerful thing. I said something in a previous article about waiting for everyone else to catch up to where I am now, but that was wrong. Nobody else needs to be where I am now, my path is supposed to be a solitary path, only one person can go down my road.

I did judge the Children of Humanity and I said they deserve more life and the opportunity to learn the things that they did not know during their mortal life. As I observe within the final prayer of Christ this wisdom; the Children should be pardoned from all punishment because they did lack the knowledge that would have allowed them to make better choices. If we do not have the right knowledge, it's impossible for us to make the right choices, which explains why people have made mistakes in life.

I said that I would take the path of the Great Villain because I thought that a Great Villain was necessary to our story, to get to the desired destination. I said to myself, someone has to play this role and claim the reward which no-one should want. I said to God, "Take me! I'll do it!" A short while after I made my prayer, I saw my sign of pricks of starlight in the form of a human being with arms held out wide, parallel to the ground. It was late at night and I saw this appear above a bush. I was so surprised and astounded that I could not speak. I turned my head away from this sight and turned back to it, it was still there. Eventually I got up from where I was sitting and walked away. Looking back I saw the pricks of starlight forming the shape of a 5 pointed star in the top of the bush. I walked away, got on an airplane and flew home to Missouri.

On the plane I sat in a state of amazement, what did it mean? My prayer had been heard, I was being observed the whole time by someone, maybe I got the job I was asking for! Then I had my very first Manic episode and ended up being hospitalized in a psychiatric ward for the first time in my life. I have been hospitalized in a psychiatric ward over 20 times since that day. I suffered a great deal because none of the medications that I was given worked, and they had some terrible side-effects. Eventually, in frustration and a loss of faith in medical science, I told one of my doctors that I didn't need the medications. Then he told me that he could no longer see me as a patient, which kinda hurt because I really did like this doctor. After that event in my life story things got a whole lot worse before it got any better. This is the real truth of my story from back in 1982.

I wasn't trying to be a King, I was trying to be a Beast.

I was living in a small apartment in Overland, Missouri and one of my neighbors walked into my house in a drunken state and plopped herself down in my chair. This person invited me to try smoking crack cocaine with her. Owing to the mood I was in at the time, I thought to myself, "This might kill me." So I said yes, because I didn't want to live in the World anymore. Subsequently, I met a number of drug users and became addicted to crack cocaine for one year. At the end of that year my mother helped me get into a treatment program called New Beginnings. Since I didn't have a psychiatrist at that time, they sent me to the Hopewell Clinic near Saint Louis University. For the very first time in my life, a doctor offered me a combination of meds which seemed to work without terrible side-effects. It took at least another year for me to get over that drug addiction after I stopped using, I would still dream about going back to it. Thankfully, I eventually beat it, I no longer think about it.

I have lived with my parents in Missouri for over 12 years now and they pay for everything that I need, because I've never been able to hold a normal job successfully. In the past I had been getting some Disability benefits from the government, but I tried to work and they were taken away, along with my Medicare coverage. Later our Social Security Administration informed me that I had been overpaid benefits in an amount which exceeded $10,000 U.S. dollars, they said I had to repay this. I've been trying to get those benefits reinstated for many years now; the over payment amount has been reduced, but I'm not really able to pay. Unless the benefits get reinstated, the full burden of my support rests on my father. Dad worked very hard as an Engineer, and spent most of his adult life working for the national defense on fighter planes, like the F-15 and F-18. I guess he's fairly well-off but never talks with me about how much money he's saved. I have enjoyed a very good quality of life here in my family's home, a life well above my own personal means. I never managed to earn enough income to get above the poverty level, and I've never had to pay Income Taxes in this country because I didn't have enough income. I have always been financially dependent on my parents for support. Dad paid for most of my cars and my car insurance, he even pays for the gasoline so I can drive it now. My parents have always been conscientious patriots in America, but I never learned to feel the same way about America.

The real truth that can be found in this blog, is a documentation of my train of thoughts, my never ending torment. You can judge for yourself how well the current medications have un-confused my thinking. For a long while I believed it was my fate to have the Ancient Dragon for my only companion. The One and Only God has given me enough strength to survive my conditions and endure, may he continue to do so for as long as I need to endure it. Years after those original events, now that my suffering has been somewhat relieved, I've never doubted the validity of those past events. I've always believed that it was a very real phenomena, and I've never had the experience of hearing any voices but I've talked with some people that have had those experiences. I have dreamed of some pretty amazing things, often seeing myself calling upon miracles, an inspired fantasy. Perhaps it is all only a Dream, my interpretation of a part of the Book of Revelations, I have found my own meaning in the recorded words of Jesus. I believe that it's not an uncommon thing for Bi-Polar persons to feel that they need to save the world.

But I'll continue to profess my personal position in God's Eternal Kingdom. I am a citizen of the Universe and nothing less than that. I am one Human Being among Billions who have ever lived, I am a real person, with a real experience of life. I am a part of something much larger than myself and greater than Life on Planet Earth. We exist in relationship to everything else, those relationships may tend to change as time passes on, but there never fails to be a relationship. And of greater interest to myself; there's always a relationship between myself and every other Human Being that has ever lived, and all those who are yet to be born. My version of Reality includes assertions like these. My version of reality includes some pretty amazing beings who exist above Humanity and beneath the Most-High-God. The very stars have a mind of their own; despite the lack of evidence that would prove it. I can not produce my own validation of my own subjective beliefs from absolutely nothing, I only must wait to learn if my point-of-view will be validated.

I know that I have been loved, and believe there's a Heavenly witness to every detail of my life. If there is no real personality behind this observation, there is still mother nature which somehow preserves information about the state of our Universe. So I never worry that I will be well remembered even though I'm mostly unknown to other people. Every event and every Human experience becomes a part of the story of Universe as it continues to be created. For as long as it may last, these things will always be a part of it's history.

Human Rights and Responsibilites

I don't believe that there is a realm of existence which is separate from God's Eternal Kingdom; and I don't believe that God desires to see us punished. But you must understand that I see the Creator of this Universe and God as being different personalities. My Creator has a will of it's own which works independently of course, just as our own wills work. I can not guess what my Creator will do to us, nor can I say anything about it's opinion of our prospects within his Universe. In my own humble opinion there is no personality within God's Kingdom of pure Evil intent, but there are a great multitude of persons within this Universe that are trying to achieve different goals. I think it's within the realm of possibilities that there are persons opposed to biological life, as I believe there are many persons here which are not biological in nature. The Creator itself can not be as a biological Human Being, it's birth occurred in the far distant past, many billion of years ago before even the stars existed. In the very beginning there was only one observer within the Universe, but God's power has the affect of creating many personalities within the heavens of his realm.

I think it's within the realm of possibilities that there are other Universes or Heavens which exist separated from this one, but I only concern myself with this Heaven as I do like it very much. If, as the Buddhist suggest there is a possibility of escaping this manifestation completely, I do not care to escape at this time. The person with the original thought taught that this world of manifestation is all about suffering and learning not to suffer; however, I disagree with that assertion. It's possible to get some enjoyment out of this existence we are all experiencing; the Physical Universe does not need to be all about suffering all the time.

I know that I must have some kind of beginning, seeing that my life began at conception is good enough for me. I don't need to believe in a prior existence to do what I do in the Universe, and I have no memories of any kind of prior existence. So I do not think that I have lived here on Planet Earth many times in the past, I do not believe that reincarnation theory is a good explanation for the circumstances we experience today, at the same time I can not disprove it. Life is what it is, with definite beginnings and endings, we can not call any other kind of existence imaginable as life. However as I said, I believe there are persons within our Universe who do not depend on biological chemistry for their existence.

If the possibility exists for us to move on to some other form of existence, we can not change the fact that we have been Human. No matter what happens to us in the future, we will always be a part of the Human Family. Therefor we can not separate ourselves from other Human Beings and things that have been done by other Human Beings here on Planet Earth. Of course, many of us have tried to achieve some kind of separation in mortal life, we may say that we belong some group or other. But no matter what groups we think that we belong to here in our world, we always and forever belong to the group of all Human Beings.

According to certain myths, the Angels of Heaven fell to the Earth, they did not come here by choice. I do not know if there is any significance to the myth. Still, I think it is within the realm of possibilities that this myth reflects some truth about our reality. Of course I have no proof that any of us existed here within the Universe in some other manifest form, so I must say there remains a shadow of a doubt. Now I could choose to believe in this myth with all my heart and claim that I have faith, but I know that feelings of faith have no particular power to put us in the right. All of us favor some very different versions of reality, and of course it's very easy to point out that we can't all be right. However, it's very difficult, if not impossible to learn about the truth which lies well beyond our own personal experience. Many of us have some expectations about the future of Humanity for a variety of reasons, people in the past have given it some thought and written down their best ideas. But we can not honestly say that the opinions of those individuals are any more authoritative than anyone else's opinions. Opinions are a creation within the Human imagination, and we have the inclination to dream about some pretty fantastic things. Having any ability to see the difference between fantasy and truth does not come to us automatically, all of us are prone to make mistakes.

So how in the world does one develop the talent for judgement and achieve excellence in it's applications?

Clearly it would be a benefit to us to be able to discern between truth and falsehood. And of course many of us have developed some skill at doing that very thing. Being well educated certainly can help us in this respect, but also it can reinforce falsehoods within the individual's view of reality. People in the past have made a number of assertions which are not standing on solid ground. When we find that there are many people who believe in a particular thing, it's much easier for us to agree with those opinions. I can not say that any of us are wrong in choosing to trust our favored authorities, if we could trust nothing about our realities natural functions we would not be able to achieve much. Many of our discoveries depend on past discoveries, and we build up from what is available to us. If the imaginary structures we create as a view of our reality are depending upon a fantasy for support, clearly this would be a problem.

Now as a Bi-Polar person, I have frequently been accused of being out of touch with reality due to my observed behavior. At those times in my past there may have been some truth to it, but we have no way of viewing another person's rationality which occurs within the mind's eye. None of the doctors or nurses that have observed my behavior directly in the past, can really describe what I was experiencing. In order to make the assertion that some person's behavior has been inappropriate, we must take into consideration the conditions which produced that behavior. I'm sure that I've been focused upon my own thoughts and feelings to such a degree that I was unable to pay attention to things that were going on around me, in this respect I am guilty. I can not say that the version of reality that I have built up within my mind is very much like the things that I've heard other people talk about. However, I'm very much in touch with my own version of reality, and I do have some ability to describe it. To prove that my version of reality has practical applications to advance the understanding of the world we live in, is not a simple thing. There are a large number of authorities in our world that would be inclined to disagree with my point-of-view. But can those people prove that their view of reality is better or more accurate than my own? Why should I give them the benefit of a doubt, and simply trust the things that they've told me? I can not do that. They must show me their proof and then I'll think about it for a while. If I decided that their proof was reliable I might change my own point of view, as a living person, I'm able to do that. But if you get all of your own truths from documents that other people have created in the past, you can not do the same thing. As long as they choose to trust those other authorities we'll be at a stalemate, unless I can somehow create the shadow of a doubt that they need in order to change.

This is how interactions between different personalities tend to work.

Now if a person is completely unable to reconcile the differences between their world view and another person's point of view, and so choose to shun or do harm to the other person, they do great harm to our world. I believe this is at the crux of our problems, the problem which we have never been able to resolve in the past. Problems that have eventually lead our world through a number of terrible events. Sadly, it's very hard to make any progress at improving the condition of our world, for as long as the people are unwilling to give us any of their attention. If we choose to neglect our peers because they are pursing different goals than our own in the world, circumstances may progress to the point that there is going to be a fight. And whenever people have fought there has been a victor and a loser, one dominates the other. The dominant party now may exercise the ability to define their own terms and conditions, but is that a basic human right? I think not.

On Authorities And Their Limits.

My own personal authority within the Universe is subject to certain limitations of course, and I have not the power to change them. I have learned over time that being faithful only makes a small difference in this matter. It's not quite good enough to believe in something with all your heart.

However, I do have all of the power and authority required to ask for what I want.

Now the founding fathers of these United States pretty much said that they recognize a greater authority over this country than they were able to create with a democratic government. I believe those men considered the matter very well, in my own humble opinion, this is indeed the truth.

To the best of my own understanding, the children of humanity have never received any particular guidance from the higher authority, as to how the world should be governed, we have had to make the best of our own judgement. Of course this is as it should be because we can not stop the world and wait for the guidance to come.

People may pray for guidance, and may have been inspired about a matter which concerned them. When we pray about such things, its not unusual to experience strong feelings. We may feel very strongly that our inspiration was indeed the guidance that we had been praying for, our feelings seem to confirm this for us.

However, I have learned over time that we can not entirely trust such feelings to lead us along the correct paths in life.

Every single Human Being that has ever lived, has been given a talent of judgment. We apply that judgment to everything in the world around us, to help us understand who we are and what is our place within the Universe. Sadly, we often apply this talent for judgment to other people, with poor results. The Human capacity to exercise good judgement in every situation is clearly influenced by the feelings that we are having in those situations.

We can not lay all the blame for our poor behavior upon our feelings. It's very simply a condition of being a biological creature, and we do not exactly exercise any particular control over the brain chemistry which creates those feelings for us. This particular issue about our feelings is something that I have been forced by circumstances to understand.

That we had experienced feelings of anger, alone can not justify a deed.

To force the punishment of death upon someone that has committed a particular crime in our society, can not be justified by calling it reparations to the victims. To use death as a punishment has no effect; I believe this matter has been adequately demonstrated over the course of time as we have often tried to apply this form of punishment. In consideration of recent history, I think that we all should be able to see that the threat of death simply isn't workable as an ounce of prevention.

Of course, it is in no way wrong for us to desire to prevent crimes from happening. Having that desire alone, does not inform us of what would be the most effective means to accomplish the goal. In my own humble opinion, the applications of violence will never be effective in dealing with such issues.

Violence in our society can take many forms, it is not always destructive to the physical structures in our world, or the persons which are made up of similar stuff. If we do anything to force our will upon another person, this is indeed a form of violence. Since this is true, trying to apply any kind of punishment to a Human Being, in the form of incarceration, is not the most appropriate way to deal with circumstances. To educate the person in order to improve their sanity is what's needed most, incarceration can not always achieve that goal. Of course some people are considered to be irredeemable due to a physical or genetic condition which tends to dispose them to the behaviour in question. Education alone may never succeed in overcoming these aspects of the human condition, over the course of a single human lifetime. If our time was actually unlimited
and we all enjoyed immortality, a great deal of time and personal experience would probably achieve the desired effect of improving the sanity and maturity of the individual. Sadly, we can not afford to be that patient in every circumstance, when we believe that the person in question will continue the bad behaviour.

All of this is pretty much a part of the reasoning which went into my judgment of our species here on Planet Earth. The judgment happened a long time ago, in October of 1982, I can not give a more precise date. I decided what it is that the Children of Humanity deserve, and why they deserved it. Now at the present moment in time, I do not know for a fact that any single individual will get the benefit of the boon that I had in mind at the time. To the best of my understanding, the matter has not been guaranteed. At the time, I made my personal commitment to serve this great and noble cause. Of course as a practical matter, all of those limits on my personal power and authority within the Universe, may render all of my efforts ineffective, it's well within the realm of possibilities that there is nothing I can do to advance this cause.

However, the possibility of getting help from a higher authority is very real.

 My own experience has confirmed this matter to my own satisfaction. Now I have to discover what form this help may take. Of course I can ask for anything, but that doesn't mean I'll get it. All of my requests must fall within the realm of possibilities within our reality; so having some rudimentary understanding of how the Universe works is pretty important to what I want to achieve.

I was only 19 years old at the time that I made my personal commitment and I knew then that I did not have a clear understanding of who I was within the Universe. I also knew that I had no clear idea how to proceed in achieving the desired results. Immediately after I experienced my sign, my circumstances changed dramatically, and I was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward. The medical doctor assigned to my case made his diagnosis as Schizophrenia, which subsequently caused much devastation in my personal life. While I was in this psychiatric ward, I met another human being which I ended up getting to know better. Her name was Yvette, but I knew her as Eve. Eve became a very important person in my life; I thought that my parents had betrayed me, but Eve believed in me.

Eve frequently said that I would save the world; and I told her, "Yes, but I'm not sure what needs to be done."

I've sorta come to think of her as my soulmate; at the time that I knew her, she was an unattractive elderly woman who used psychiatric wards as shelter because she was otherwise homeless. I think that having one true-believer in my life is quite good enough, I have no real need to get followers behind my cause. Also I do not believe that our world needs yet another religion which would only serve to divide the people further. The fact that this particular individual had experienced her own suffering and misfortunes in life meant nothing to me, she is still a Human Being and that's what matters.

Over the course of my life, I have enjoyed the opportunity to meet a good number of people who were exemplary individuals. So I can not let my natural pessimism about Human Nature govern my thoughts about the Children of Humanity on a case by case basis. Over the same period of time I've encountered many individuals that treated me poorly. In some cases, I've been told by the other person that they hate me, but they were usually unable to have a conversation about why that was so. And there are a few persons from my past who I surely owe some apologies too.

So what happens next?

I will keep doing what I've been doing, I can not foresee my own future of course, but I feel unconcerned about it. I've spent many long hours worrying over the future of Humanity and whether or not I would be able to influence that future enough. In my own humble opinion the world leaders at this time are leading the world down the path which eventually leads to the extinction of our species here on Planet Earth. I don't feel very optimistic about how long that will take, I'm thinking that we will not survive the next 3000 years. If our species does bring about it's own end, then I would say that the rational mind and our remarkable intelligence was more of a liability than a boon to us. The historical Neanderthal species of Man, likely survived here on Earth for approximately 200,000 years. To the present moment in time, our own species is far from surpassing them in terms of survivability, and they never developed a technology better than chipped stone tools.

So far I've seen no evidence that my own requests for work will be delivered by my Higher Power, but I haven't given up hope. I won't know for sure until I see it happen, and that's the way it is.

A Dissertation of Logic

My personal experiences of the Universe have been quite different from your personal experiences.
If you are willing to agree to this assertion I will continue.

Humanity currently does not posses the ability to observe everything that I am doing within the Universe.
In order to validate this assertion for you, I will point out that none are able to observe my thoughts.

To the best of my understanding, Humanities current understanding of how the brain works is incomplete.
We are completely unable to observe how the human brain interacts with the Vacuum.

I believe that the interactions between our physical substance and the vacuum is something of great importance that we need to discover.

We know that the fabric of space-time in the Universe is expanding, the rate of this expansion may be variable. I believe that it is this expansion which governs how we experience the flow of time.

Within this blog, I have written articles about my personal thoughts and experiences.
If you try reading through some it you may start to think; this guy just keeps telling us he's special in a very repetitive and wordy way. This is not the point which I wish to communicate. We are each Unique in the way we experience the Universe, I know this is true.

There is no other mortal person alive on this world, at this time, that has the authority to invalidate my personal experiences. Now I think this is a very important criteria to understand, which should in someway help us appreciate, Why there so much diversity to the Human Experience. This truth partially justifies the differences between individual persons, and may help us to see how those differences do not make us better than one another.

Welcome Blog Readers

Herein you will find a fair demonstration of what Psychiatric professionals refer to as Grandiosity. It is one symptom of a mental condition known as Mania. Normally individuals who exhibit this mental condition are completely unable to produce rational thoughts of any value to our society, subsequently the condition is viewed as a liability rather than an advantage. Yet there are currently medications available which can moderate this condition fairly well, with a minimal number of undesirable side-effects.

To be in control of one's own mood and to be able to avoid the pitfalls of fantasy; this is the nature of the challenge that individuals with this genetic condition must overcome. It's not by choice but circumstances that we are faced with such a dilemma, for there is no-one to blame for genetic abnormalities which prove to be a disadvantage. On a practical level, we must pursue excellence in judgement in order to apply that commonly shared talent to determine what is truth, and what is imagined. It can be a very tedious process to sort out the things which we can know and rely on, from the things that we merely believe. And part of the reason this is so difficult is that we have more or less been taught what to believe from a number of different sources. There is always another person around to inform us of beliefs which they hold to be true, and such truths are dispersed through all forms of modern media.

All I can tell the reader is that I have suffered or enjoyed a very uncommon and extreme experience of life, and the things that I have learned are a reflection of all those personal experiences. Therefor I have managed to learn different things. Of course my own view of reality has become colored by all those truths which I have taken to heart. This place that we inhabit seems quite remarkable to me, it's a wonderful thing, who in their right mind would want to be separated from all this stuff?! Over time I've come to love Planet Earth for what it is and what it contains, and the most interesting thing that our world contains is us. It would be quite a boon to us I think if over a period of time we could manage to discover that this reality we all share is characterized by Unity rather than Separation. As there seems to be an endless number of ways that we can divide and categorize our environments, we often perceive separation between ourselves and any number of other individual persons who are our companions within this Universe.

It's not really easy being patient in waiting for the rest of the community to catch up to where I am now. Hurry up and get the Big Picture, it might still be possible to reform all that bad behavior which human beings have exhibited over the full course of our long history. A little education can go a long way toward improving the sanity of individuals and large communities. For my part, I am doing my best to create explanations that can be easily understood. In service of the common welfare of our species here on Planet Earth, that is about all I can do at the moment.

We Are The Ones Who Choose

Once upon a time I made an important decision, a decision which intends to influence your welfare. I made a simple choice, one that I was able to make at the time, and one for which I could make a durable commitment. I have been well rewarded for making that decision, albeit not financially. I value that reward so greatly that I think I can base my success in life upon it alone. I'm sure I have a few other notable achievements, I've managed to become a biological father and a grandfather. The nature of the reward that I received manifested itself before my eyes, and mine alone, as tiny stars arranged in the form of a human being. If I give this description, most rational people would say that it's very simply an affect of the mind. To them I would say that this is just one experience I have had over the course of my life. And they might say, well that is to be expected of anyone else with your particular genetic condition. In fact this genetic condition manifests itself in human lives in a variety of ways, it's not uncommon for persons to hear voices.

Occasionally such voices have been attributed to a God or some other Higher Power. In some experiences these voices may seem to be threatening or reassuring, and they are considered to be a symptom of something beyond the person's control. With my own experience of lights there was no voice; but on one occasion I did very clearly hear a voice. The voice which I heard spoke only 7 simple worlds, it said, "Ken, do you really want to suffer?" To which I immediately replied, "YES!" But only a short while later I reconsidered and chose for myself the path of least suffering, at least for the immediate future.

Once again I have made a choice for myself, to follow a certain path, one which I call the path of the Great Patriarch. It's my desire to fulfill that role for my Human family, the greater family, the one which is all-inclusive. Perhaps its beyond my ability to progress along this path to the desired destination, perhaps the goal is very simply unobtainable. But I know that I may proceed to follow my own heart, and I do not need recognition from my peers follow this path. The only things that I really need to succeed are my own will and unlimited time. All that I need from my billions of chosen children is a willingness to entertain a conversation. Perhaps they will be unwilling or unable to give that much of their attention to me at the present time, but this does not mean that I fail, it only means that I have to wait. Over the course of this mortal life, I think that I have practiced waiting enough to have become pretty good at it.

I have heard that there is some clinical evidence that the practice of mindfulness affects real physical changes within the body of the practitioner. Maybe I should try to practice some of this mindfulness myself, instead of practicing my arguments all of the time. I have given a great deal of my attention to games, I enjoy the ability to focus on one of them for long hours of the day without interruption. Many of these games I have played included thousands of other real-people, residing in various places around the world. When I am so focused upon the game, my mind is perfectly in the moment, perhaps that is a degree of mindfulness practice. Well I only have a very general idea of what this mindfulness entails. Perhaps I can arrange to be reborn as a Buddhist, this mortal life has made me ready for those conditions I expect. But what would I be without my torment? In this lifetime the torment makes all the difference, and I pray for the strength to endure it forever, in service of a cause.

I've always had my own pacifist ideas about what the greater good for humanity entails. If I thought I had a fair chance of persuading the world to disarm and disband military forces, I would certainly make the effort to do that very thing. I had drawn upon the Christian New Testament Bible and the Vision of John, to say to myself, "Yes! This resurrection to immortal life seems to be the best possible outcome for us." So what in the world is the Blog really about? And why does it seem to revolve around some Greater Power, or the presence and activity of a God? According to that book, a 'Millennium of Peace' on Planet Earth is a necessary condition which leads us to the desired result. To myself this implies that there should be no armed conflict going on around the world for at least one-thousand years. Truly a Humanitarian goal, if it could be achievable. In the more recent past I have drawn to the conclusion that no argument could be persuasive enough to enable the world to disarm itself, short of the threat of mass destruction on a Global scale, along with the possible extinction of my own species. I need remind myself of this principle, "Violence can never be the solution to Violence." If we go about killing all the bad and angry people in the world in order to create a more civil condition in the world, the people who do the work and all those who direct them, make themselves the bad people.

We send an army to assassinate one man, and topple a world government, which was a government that many people wanted to have in our world. Unfortunately it happened to be a form of government which America doesn't like, and if they do what their faith tells them they must and offer sanctuary to a madman, we are more than willing to turn that against them. I for one can not condemn such human behavior; however it may be rationalized, I must embrace those people as they are. I've never received any special power to change another human mind or make a decision for them, I can only decide for myself. I try to pursue my own goals in a way which makes minimal demands upon the time and attention of others. As Jesus implied, the great mystery of faith would empower us to move the very mountains, but I have not found the solution to that mystery for myself. The only mountain that needs to be moved is myself, "I Am The Mountain."

Throughout my life, my friends have always known me as Ken, and that is the English spelling for an ideogram in a dialect of Chinese. That ideogram is represented as a hexagram in the Book of Changes or as it may be pronounced, 'e jing.' This symbol represents the Chinese ideation of what Mountain represents in the Chinese philosophy and culture. I feel a great sense of gratification, that through my two sons, I have a personal and vested interest in the ancestry and history of those people. Their mother is Kueilan, that is the name of a white mountain flower, but most people know her as 'Queeny.' I married their mother in a non-denominational church; and at the direction of a Christian Minister we exchanged our vows, which included the words, "until Death do us part." This is not the way that most Mormons get married, they exchange vows with one another which are supposed to be good for eternity. I did not ask Kueilan to commit to that length of time; I happen to know that many Mormon marriages have failed, some of them found that they could not keep their vows. The vows that I made are still good, but Kueilan chose to forsake her vows because she wanted a good American life and believed she would not have that with me. I choose to let her follow her own heart; I don't think she is very happy with the way her life has gone in America, and I'm sure that she is not happy with me. I guess that's more than enough information about my personal life, which I've endeavored to leave out of this Blog over the past years.

To the Chinese people, 'Mountain' means a bit more than a very high terrain feature of the Earth. I know that in their history this term has been applied to describe Generals of Armies, as to compare individuals to landmarks. In terms of historical events some persons are very easily landmarks; which I think adequately demonstrates the power of the individual to influence our reality to the extent that many other individuals are a feature of this reality. The Blog title, "Gen" is a variation of the English spelling for that Chinese ideogram.

To my own way of thinking, Heaven is the reality which we inhabit in manifest form. I could not bring this Heavenly Kingdom to our world, because our world has always been a part of that Kingdom. All that is really required, is to assist other people to discover this truth for themselves. In modern times, the term Heaven has come to mean something very different from our experience of manifestation, some people see this fictional place as a place of un-manifest existence. When a Human Being dies, we observe their physical form to decay. We assume that this physical form is the only form of manifestation the person possessed, we are left with little evidence upon which to base our assumptions. We say that we experience separation from that person who may have been important to ourselves. At the same time many Christian and Judaic thinkers have imagined a creator of physical substance and form, formed in much the same way which we are formed. We observe that this manifest person is not present here on Planet Earth and then conclude that there is separation between ourselves and God. Here we have a great desire for divine guidance, and we want the highest possible authority to tell us how things are and why we are a part of it. Some do hope that there is some divine providence which guides our world leaders, as the American motto is, "In God We Trust." We recognize some unknown God as the authority above these United States and it's Human leaders. As that God has never appeared physically in order to govern us; we have been left to govern one another, and that is exactly what we do. There's no person of higher authority that can tell us we are doing right or wrong, but most of us trust the rightness of our own opinions. However at the very base of all our opinions is the fact that we are mostly unaware of our Universe as it has been.

Of course the past 5000 years or so of Human History have been documented to the extent that we can feel comfortably informed about historical persons who are no longer alive. All those persons were observed by many others at the time that they lived, and perhaps a few people made notes on their observations, in some cases the individual has produced the documentation of their own life and works. But clearly the story that we can read about in books or watch on television is not the exactly same thing as the truth. Through documentation and film we can only experience things indirectly, facilitated by our imagination. In some cases our best authorities who produced the documentation we rely upon; were not themselves direct observers of the events which they wrote about. Its not really all that unusual for human beings to employ their own imagination to embellish upon factual events their own interpretations. We can never say exactly what the person's had experienced who were actually involved in any these historical events. The main problem I see is that the person's who have given there opinions are now unchangeable by the passage of time. How well would we receive the wisdom of Moses if an actual physical person walked up to us today and informed us about their conversation with God? If we could pry the soul and spirit of Moses away from death and give it once again manifest form, how can we say that his position would be unchanged by his subsequent personal experiences? Indeed if there is something more for us to experience than this mortal life, we can hardly begin to imagine what we would learn from such experiences.

I perceive my own personal historical existence as being made up of so many more beginnings than conception and birth. Our ancestors must now depend on us to give meaning to their deeds and purpose to their existence. We must somehow find the conclusion to this Great Game of Life, declare a winner and end our race to be the better and most favored persons. One of us must overcome this mortality and become the higher authority which the modern world lacks. The only authority that can possibly unify every nation of the world under one government, the true King of all Kings. In my humble opinion its not Democracy that our world needs most but Monarchy. Our Democratic governments have adequately demonstrated their willingness to employ violent means in order to solve problems. The proponents of  Democracy pretend that they favor congress between peers in order to find the compromise in-between our pursuit of diverse goals.
To this end we must have a well-educated and expert representative to secure all of our individual interests and see that none are overlooked. I may not be considered a peer to those individuals; but whatever my interests may be, there is no-one else with the will to serve them. We have other Kings that we do serve; like the King which says that it is wealth which empowers an individual to direct the life and work of many. We have the King which tells us that competition is good for the community, and the very best competitors should be well rewarded. And we have the King which tells us that our best ideas are a property to which we may exercise the right to demand compensation of, or deny an individual to benefit.

Of course we have spent hundreds of thousands of man-hours upon the arts of war, to see all that effort come to no good use. But there is no army that can be armed to overcome the power of a single individual to influence the direction of world events. And perhaps there is still a superior technology to be discovered which would bestow the strength of righteousness and mass destruction upon One. Those two things so clearly go hand-in-hand because here on Planet Earth, "Might Makes Right."