The Win-Win Attitude

What does the word civilized really mean? Essentially it just started out meaning that people lived in cities. Living in cities in close proximity is accommodating the individual’s ability to specialize; we don’t all have to spend time performing agricultural chores, some of us have become free to do something else. And when people specialize then interdependency is a necessity; for example, I am a medical doctor and I’ve dedicated thousands of man-hours to develop the skill necessary to perform my work, however I still need a home to live in but I haven’t had time to develop the skills needed to build it. Is it in the nature of Equality for everybody to be entirely self-reliant? No. It is in the best interests of the community for all individuals to achieve excellence in their own career, if all the people around me are successful then ultimately my own standard of living should be improved considerably. The word civilization has come to mean more than just that the people live in cities, it is more about how people behave.

Basically if you treat EVERYBODY in any particular situation with civility, then you are demonstrably civilized. If everybody could accomplish this improbable feat, then and only then does civilization emerge and become the norm. And what does this require from each of us? Patience, tolerance, concern for the welfare of others? But lets go back to the matter of Equality for a moment. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…”. According to many Kabalists the nature of the human animal is, “unlimited desire”, I personally feel this is a reasonably fair assertion. Every human-being large or small, famous or infamous or simply unknown has a common set of needs. Enough food to eat, clean water to drink, sanitary shelter, clothing; and beyond these basic necessities the uncountable and varied things that we simply want. I’d even be willing to add friendship and entertainment to the list of basic needs. To this extent we are obviously all equal, but there is more to the story.

We share this idea of ‘Importance’. Some things are important, some things are insignificant; and we choose to attribute one another with the property of being important or insignificant And it’s a sliding scale too, not just simply black and white. We see ourselves on that scale somewhere, if we are assertive people and we have much self-esteem then we place ourselves at the Important end of the scale. If we are not self-motivated or confident in our own abilities then we place other’s above us on this scale very often. Maybe we think that we are not smart enough, there is always someone smarter or simply more knowledgeable. As far as I know we don’t get to choose how smart we are and its not a crime to be below average in the intelligence department. We like to believe that we know right from wrong, that we know good from evil, we like to believe that we know best what serves our own interests. Morality, Ethics, Aesthetics are more or less community customs that we either accept or reject, we pick and choose between a variety of off-the-shelf public opinion. People that disagree with our view of things are likely to be characterized at the low end of the scale toward insignificance. But essentially every single one of us is important whether we own that realization for ourselves or not, not one person is truly insignificant. Yet when you start placing yourself on a sliding scale with other people then that’s when the problems begin, and people are very pleased with themselves to do this very thing. I put to you the following statement: “Equality is about the perception of others being no more and no less important than yourself.”

Now with this new realization we are forced to admit that the other guy’s feelings are justifiable, because if we believe this to be true of our own feelings then we must pay the same dues to our peers. My ideas are good ones, I really quite enjoy believing that; therefore I must acknowledge that other people’s ideas are worthwhile too. Who’s ideas are these? Surely not that guy who robbed the liquor store last night, I don’t want to be associated with that guy. No I mean everybody’s. Its really quite impossible to escape your association with every other single living human being on the face of planet Earth. You may not be aware of the association between yourself and some starving children in Africa but there surely is one. I am willing to have a conversation, anytime anywhere with anybody. I do not choose to neglect the other person’s need for a good friendship, to be inspired or entertained. I have something to contribute to the community and it is something that in some small way fulfills the needs of any person. Socialize, Habilitate, show concern, love, respect – when you can do this for everyone without prejudice or preference then you have become successful at demonstrating civilization. When you have achieved this, when you are the example to others it’s a win-win situation.